To post or not to post........it's kinda a toss up...so am I today!

Does anyone know where to pick up a new life? I need one!

Boy this is gonna be a good post..........I need to snap out of it.......A little craby I guess! The day started off pretty good! But apparently it was park on a hill facing down without the emergency brake on! See where I am going with this? Maybe I should stop right here because this is probably where you will stop reading.......I have ESP ya know. lol

I ran the the race today and I feel like I lost! I need a puppy upper to get back on track! It is work and family that is digging into me today! Sometimes I can do no right for anyone, like it is my duty to make sure everyone is pleased with how I live my life! This is one reason family does not have this blog address! They would send the men with the straight jackets here to pick me up as they read one of my posts.......lol.....Not all of my family....Just those who have the critical eye fixed on me! Maybe that is why I feel so compelled to do something so out of the ordinary and extreme that would totally freak them out! I could get my ass thrown in jail for something! That would do it........But then that would lead to more criticism and probably a court date! Maybe I could talk a cop into hand cuffing and putting my in the back of a squad car and have them take a picture.....lol........Actually that might be fun! It made me smile! Do you ever feel like being a rebel though! God I need to rebel!! I need to rebel in a way that I won't get locked up or thought of as .....Insane...... Or have my family think they need to do some sort of intervention! I am so ready to cut loose and do something extreme......Base jumping.........COOL! I don't want to freak my son out though and that certainly would!

Sorry guys don't mean to be a downer, and no, I am not manic either.........lol....I just need to let off some steam so to speak and I need an adrenaline rush to do that........I just want to be free from the expectations on me! Maybe it is more than that.......If it is.......I am in hiding and don't tell anyone where I am! I woke up at four this morning and I am so keyed right now.......If I was a runner I would go running.....The base jumping does sound cool though! Hang Gliding would be fun too! At this point anything extreme might help! No matter what happens or what I do, I will have the same issues.......Can't run away from them.......But I have a damn hard time facing them too! I practice avoidance........Probably not the best thing to do......That catches up with you too at some point....Bottom line.....Just stop having expectations and demands on me for a day or two and let me get back to me! I need me as much as anyone else does and if people take to much, there is nothing left for me........I get this way! I have no one replenish my spirit! Just me! Probably why my sweet girlfriend tells me I need a man.......lol.........no shit sweetie! I'll just swing into the store and grab one......lol

K enough of me! My humble apologizes for those of you that have read through this whole tirade.....love and peace........